I wish I had a TemperPedic Bed

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So I left my cup of coffee on my bed and went to go get something in the other room.  When I came back I forgot that I had left the coffee there.  When I was kind of walking on my bed (I had my laptop in my hands so the typical bed entrance was not feasible at the time) my coffee spilled.

It was at that time I wish I had a TemperPedic bed.  Like in the commercial there’s the women jumping on one end of the bed with a glass of wine on the other and the wine doesn’t spill.  If I had a TemperPedic bed…. my coffee would not have spilled…. Damn it!


The Overusage of Acronyms

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So I know I have neglected my faithful readers.  I’m sorry.  Life is busy.  Which also means there’s many more posts in the making… be patient my friends.

This has actually been a topic that has been on my mind since probably day one of the Story of My LIfe blog.  This happens to be the issue of overusing of acronyms.

This tends to happen a lot on Facebook or Twitter (I think Twitter is actually to blame since you can only use so many characters in each tweet) or other social networks.  It goes back to the use of jk, lol or wtf (which if you don’t know what those mean…. come out of your cave and get with it).  So jk is actually understandable.  We say just kidding in conversation, so to save time, we naturally shorten it.  Lol pissed me off for a while.  No body says that.  Doesn’t haha or a smiley work enough?  But once again, I succumb to it and now use it in texts and Facebook comments.  The issue is not with these acronyms.  The issue is the fact that people have taken it way overboard.  Actually, beyond overboard and into the realm of absolutely ridiculous!  I would like to take the time to list some of the more recent stupid acronyms I’ve seen… and of course give my comments.

ROFL  (Rolling on the Floor Laughing):  The phrase doesn’t actually bother me as much as the fact that the usage is probably never used appropriately.  I KNOW you’re not actually rolling on the floor laughing.  Rarely do people put anything on a public post that actually is deserving of such attention.  If you actually are rolling on the floor laughing… knock it off… it’s not that funny.

ROFL COPTER (Rolling on the Floor Laughing Can’t Operate Properly Till Eyes Refocus):  I don’t have to say much about this.  Just shut up!  This makes it to my top ten list of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.

TGIATDW (Thank God it’s a Three Day Weekend):  Ok seriously?  Why do you even need to make this into an acronym?  Just say the damn thing!  Or how about you stop trying to rip off ABC’s weekly sitcom montage TGIF.

NIFOC (Nude in front of computer):  Ok so I didn’t actually see this one used.  It came up when I Googled rediculous acronyms.  The title of the article was “25 More Sexting Acronyms Parents Should Know”.  You can read it for yourself here.  It’s actually embarassing if people actually use them (not to mention that I think the term “sexting” is ridiculous enough).

So I’m sure that there are a ton more out there.  For the sake of the length of this post I’ll leave it at that.  Don’t post dumb acronyms on my page.  I might de-friend you.

Quote of the Day #3

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“It smelled like piss and…. shit…. and whatever else you could think of.”

– My Modernism Professor
(It would be really funny if you knew her)

Quote of the Day #2

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So this was actually from a week ago but I didn’t think to post it till now.

“I’m pretty sure when I saw those puppies I shit myself.”

– Savannah (in reference to the puppies on the Pedigree commercial)

Nicki Minaj…. love her, hate her… I don’t care! She’s the ish!

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I’m a big Nicki Minaj fan.  People think she’s a crazy.  This is true.  That’s why I like her so much.  Anyways, I’m somewhat obsessed with the song “Moment 4 Life” at the moment.  So I thought that I’d post the video on here and then write my comments.  Watch the video then proceed to my commentary.

#1.  Who the Eff is Martha? So i know that Roman is her little evil alter ego… but seriously who is Martha and why does the Fairy God mother act so effing crazy when she talks about her?

*Later I was informed that Martha is actually Roman’s mother

#2. Bitch (under her breath) See this is what I love about Nicki.  I just needed to comment that the part right before the song starts and she mumbles “bitch” kind of out the side of her mouth, is nothing short of pure genius.  Ok maybe not genius but it’s pretty damn funny.

#3  Nicki’s acting skills Nicki can’t act.  That’s not up for discussion…. it’s a fact.  She says she loved doing the acting parts… you shouldn’t have.  You blow at it.  I don’t think I’ve seen worse acting except for on the hit 90’s tv show Blossom.

#4  Drake & his flyness So I’m a huge Drake fan.  He’s super fly (including in this video) & I want to be him.  That is all.

#5  The Kiss Ok so we all know how Nicki and Drake have had this whole “fake marriage” and stuff and there’s been all this hot gossip on their secret fling.  So why hide the kiss.  Seriously, don’t keep us guessing.  Just show the damn kiss so we could screen capture it and photoshop Drake’s hand on Nicki’s breast or something to put on the cover of US weekly or something.  We need more tabloid gossip people!

Workout Casualty

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So yesterday at the gym, one of the most bizarre things happened. Seriously. I was using the rowing machine (I’m pretty sure that it has a more sophisticated name but I don’t know it and probably neither do you so I don’t care). I was wearing these pants that had a zippered pocket in the back. So I thought it was a great idea to put my phone in there and feed the headphones up to my ear so it would be out of my way. Little did i know this would soon lead to a workout casualty So there I am, rowing along when all of a sudden I feel a tug on my headphones and my music stops. So I think, “oh my headphones probably just got yanked out.” but when I look, this was not the case! Apparently my headphones were dangling so the wire got caught under the sliding seat of the rowing machine & GOT SLICED IN TWO!!!! WHAT THE EFF!!! how does that even happen. I totally looked around to see if anyone else saw this shocking incident (which I’m sure they did… How embarrassing) and then I proceeded to pick my jaw up off the floor and take a picture to show my few yet dedicated “Story of my Life” blog readers! So here you have it!

*My spectacular photoshop skills were done during my photoshop class.  My prof would be proud!

I just realized that I never was on Firestone…

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So the other day, Friday to be exact, I stayed home with a sore throat and just all around not feeling very well.  I did have to run out and get some stuff for a still life photoshoot so I figured I would get lunch at the same time.  I had talked to my friend Melanie earlier that day and she mentioned she was going out to Chipotle so I thought that sounded really good.  I didn’t know where the Chipotle nearest to my house was so I looked it up on my phone and set off on my mission of buying locks and chains for my photoshoot (that might need an explanation later) and then to get Chipotle.

*It should be said that it was raining pretty steadily when I left.  Now if you know people in LA, they just don’t know how to effing drive in the rain.  Half the time I just want to bitch slap every person who taps their brakes for no reason.

Moving on.  After my visit to Lowe’s, I called my friend Mallory just to chat.  I told her my plans to go to Chipotle and I had to drive a little ways to get there so I had some time to kill.  I knew that I had to make a right on Firestone and the Chipotle would be on my right hand side.  I keep driving, distracted by the conversation that Mallory and I typically have (reality TV, the latest fashion faux pas we’ve encountered, stupid people etc.) when I realized that I think I had driven too far.  But I hadn’t seen the Chipotle.  I told Mallory and she looked it up on Google maps to help me out.  I told her I was on Firestone and some other street so she told me I needed to turn around.  At this point, I’ve already resisted the urge to bitch slap about 20 ridiculous drivers and I pulled into a gas station so I could turn around.  As I’m pulling out of the gas station onto the street in which I thought was Firestone, I realize I had never been on Firestone.  This is where I stated to Mallory, “I just realized that I was actually never on Firestone.”

Mallory proceeded to laugh at me that I was so aimlessly lost (& extremely frustrated with the senile Sunday drivers) and like the loving friend that she is, even brought up the fact about 15 minutes later in the conversation when the topic had already long past over.  And now it’s become another event for you all to enjoy as the story of my life.

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