Quote of the Day #2

So this was actually from a week ago but I didn’t think to post it till now.

“I’m pretty sure when I saw those puppies I shit myself.”

– Savannah (in reference to the puppies on the Pedigree commercial)

Nicki Minaj…. love her, hate her… I don’t care! She’s the ish!

I’m a big Nicki Minaj fan.  People think she’s a crazy.  This is true.  That’s why I like her so much.  Anyways, I’m somewhat obsessed with the song “Moment 4 Life” at the moment.  So I thought that I’d post the video on here and then write my comments.  Watch the video then proceed to my commentary.

#1.  Who the Eff is Martha? So i know that Roman is her little evil alter ego… but seriously who is Martha and why does the Fairy God mother act so effing crazy when she talks about her?

*Later I was informed that Martha is actually Roman’s mother

#2. Bitch (under her breath) See this is what I love about Nicki.  I just needed to comment that the part right before the song starts and she mumbles “bitch” kind of out the side of her mouth, is nothing short of pure genius.  Ok maybe not genius but it’s pretty damn funny.

#3  Nicki’s acting skills Nicki can’t act.  That’s not up for discussion…. it’s a fact.  She says she loved doing the acting parts… you shouldn’t have.  You blow at it.  I don’t think I’ve seen worse acting except for on the hit 90’s tv show Blossom.

#4  Drake & his flyness So I’m a huge Drake fan.  He’s super fly (including in this video) & I want to be him.  That is all.

#5  The Kiss Ok so we all know how Nicki and Drake have had this whole “fake marriage” and stuff and there’s been all this hot gossip on their secret fling.  So why hide the kiss.  Seriously, don’t keep us guessing.  Just show the damn kiss so we could screen capture it and photoshop Drake’s hand on Nicki’s breast or something to put on the cover of US weekly or something.  We need more tabloid gossip people!

Workout Casualty

So yesterday at the gym, one of the most bizarre things happened. Seriously. I was using the rowing machine (I’m pretty sure that it has a more sophisticated name but I don’t know it and probably neither do you so I don’t care). I was wearing these pants that had a zippered pocket in the back. So I thought it was a great idea to put my phone in there and feed the headphones up to my ear so it would be out of my way. Little did i know this would soon lead to a workout casualty So there I am, rowing along when all of a sudden I feel a tug on my headphones and my music stops. So I think, “oh my headphones probably just got yanked out.” but when I look, this was not the case! Apparently my headphones were dangling so the wire got caught under the sliding seat of the rowing machine & GOT SLICED IN TWO!!!! WHAT THE EFF!!! how does that even happen. I totally looked around to see if anyone else saw this shocking incident (which I’m sure they did… How embarrassing) and then I proceeded to pick my jaw up off the floor and take a picture to show my few yet dedicated “Story of my Life” blog readers! So here you have it!

*My spectacular photoshop skills were done during my photoshop class.  My prof would be proud!

I just realized that I never was on Firestone…

So the other day, Friday to be exact, I stayed home with a sore throat and just all around not feeling very well.  I did have to run out and get some stuff for a still life photoshoot so I figured I would get lunch at the same time.  I had talked to my friend Melanie earlier that day and she mentioned she was going out to Chipotle so I thought that sounded really good.  I didn’t know where the Chipotle nearest to my house was so I looked it up on my phone and set off on my mission of buying locks and chains for my photoshoot (that might need an explanation later) and then to get Chipotle.

*It should be said that it was raining pretty steadily when I left.  Now if you know people in LA, they just don’t know how to effing drive in the rain.  Half the time I just want to bitch slap every person who taps their brakes for no reason.

Moving on.  After my visit to Lowe’s, I called my friend Mallory just to chat.  I told her my plans to go to Chipotle and I had to drive a little ways to get there so I had some time to kill.  I knew that I had to make a right on Firestone and the Chipotle would be on my right hand side.  I keep driving, distracted by the conversation that Mallory and I typically have (reality TV, the latest fashion faux pas we’ve encountered, stupid people etc.) when I realized that I think I had driven too far.  But I hadn’t seen the Chipotle.  I told Mallory and she looked it up on Google maps to help me out.  I told her I was on Firestone and some other street so she told me I needed to turn around.  At this point, I’ve already resisted the urge to bitch slap about 20 ridiculous drivers and I pulled into a gas station so I could turn around.  As I’m pulling out of the gas station onto the street in which I thought was Firestone, I realize I had never been on Firestone.  This is where I stated to Mallory, “I just realized that I was actually never on Firestone.”

Mallory proceeded to laugh at me that I was so aimlessly lost (& extremely frustrated with the senile Sunday drivers) and like the loving friend that she is, even brought up the fact about 15 minutes later in the conversation when the topic had already long past over.  And now it’s become another event for you all to enjoy as the story of my life.

Quote of the Day #1

“I really like the texture and tone of your balls in the image.”

– My View Camera Professor (while referring to a pair of baseballs in a picture during critique)

Sleeping on the Job #1

So going to a school where people work 24/7… Literally, naturally you’d find people sleeping wherever they can. I started taking pictures of these people last semester and never had a place to put them until now. Enjoy the first SOTJ (one from yesterday and the others from a little while ago).

The first post… Coffee Fiasco

So as I start this blog, I feel the pressure to start off with something really great.  As I wipe the bead of sweat off my upper lip from the stress, I’d like to tell you about my coffee fiasco that took place today.

Tuesdays are my really long days of class.  I start at 8:30am and have back to back classes until 10pm with only half hour breaks in between.  Obviously I dread these days.  Also, if you know me, I love coffee.  If you know me REALLY well, you know how absolutely pissy I can get when I don’t have my coffee.  Today was no exception.  Today was actually even a day where multiple cups of coffee were needed.  So I went and got myself another cup of coffee.

About five minutes after putting in all my cream and sugar and getting it just right I was walking out of one of the hallways.  Now many of the hallways at school are what we’d like to call blind hallways.  You can’t see people coming.  The smart people at school will tend to nearly sprint around corners, typically on the inside corner so as you’re walking, they whip around the corner, sometimes even facing the other way.  Because why would you actually look where you’re going?  So as I exit the hallway I get blindsided by a guy racing down the hall.  For fear that I’m going to drop my coffee, I clench the cup, causing the lid to pop off and the coffee to go effing everywhere.  By everywhere I mean on my new shirt, the floor, the wall and of course barely anything on the spastic hallway speeder.   Don’t worry though, there was still coffee left in my cup, so it could have been worse.  Much worse.

Still, I’d like to say thank you sir for accentuating the design of my shirt with that of “shit like” coffee stains and being the first idiot to be featured on “Story of My Life”